Becoming Free Indeed by Jinger Vuolo: An Honest Review

Many people may remember the famous TLC show “19 Kids and Counting.” A family watched by America- observed and scrutinized by many. Jinger Vuolo who is the sixth child in this family grew up being taught things that are, as she later learned, contrary to what the Bible says. In the description of her new book, it says that Jinger “began to question the unhealthy ideology of her youth and learned to embrace true freedom in Christ.” It says that when she was growing up "she was convinced that obeying the rules was the key to success and God's favor. She zealously promoted the Basic Life Principles of Bill Gothard. Jinger, along with three of her sisters, wrote a New York Times bestseller about their religious convictions. She believed this level of commitment would guarantee God's blessing, even though in private she felt constant fear that she wasn't measuring up to the high standards demanded of her” (Goodreads). This book explores her journey of disentangling faith from fear and dissects the many harmful things she was taught as a child. She closely examines her beliefs and exposes Bill Gothard's (the man whom her family and herself followed) many false teachings.

Common Reviews and My Thoughts

The cover of the book says, “My journey of disentangling faith from fear” (Vuolo). From what I’ve seen, a lot of people were expecting something different than what the book is and what it was marketed to be. I think many wanted to see Jinger walk away from her faith or read a tell-all about her family. I also think some may have wanted her to focus on condemning her family, specifically her parents. In my opinion, those that say this have missed the point of the book and have also ignored the descriptions and the way it was marketed.

Before I knew the book existed, I saw an interview of hers on ABC News and, being someone who used to watch the show as a kid with my family, I was immediately interested to hear her talk about her faith. I always thought the way her family lived was odd and never saw some of their beliefs as something the Bible taught (such as only wearing skirts or not listening to music with drums). I was curious to know more about what her family believed and to read her take on everything.

In one of the many interviews Jinger did, she discusses what her book is about. One of the biggest things Jinger addressed was the damage that an outward holiness driven by man-made rules does. This is much like when Christ called out the Pharisees for their religious hypocrisy. He says in Matthew 23:27-28

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

These verses apply to not only Jinger’s brother Josh who presented himself as a godly man when in reality was pure evil on the inside, but also to Bill Gothard who presented himself as a divine prophet who Jinger now calls a false teacher. Later in the interview she says that “My relationship with God is what matters the most to me and I want people who have walked through hardship and pain to be able to come to the place where they see that you don’t have to reject your faith because you’ve been harmed by it, but that you can separate truth from error and come out on the other side stronger” (Vuolo).

I think overall many are confused because not only has she not walked away from being a Christian, but Jinger is also not downright calling out her parents for their shortcomings and failings. Anyone who has had any sort of trauma that has involved their parents but has a good relationship with them now knows that that is an incredibly hard and painful thing to do, nor was it the communicated intention for her book. She is choosing to blame the false teacher that deceived many and to have grace for her parents rather than shaming them publicly. Though she disagrees with many of their beliefs, from what I read, it sounds like she had a fairly happy childhood. I also think that we can still love family members who have different beliefs and who have made many mistakes. In the end, it’s her choice the way she approaches the issues from what she was taught and how she was raised.

My Final Opinion and Rating

I think it’s apparent what my opinion of this book is already. Aside from any sort of personal bias I may have, I believe that it was marketed honestly and clearly. I never got the impression that she was selling it for something it wasn’t. I also, while reading, felt from an academic and literary standpoint that each chapter was well-structured to support her main points which all serve the purpose of “separating truth from error.” Her book was clear, concise, organized, and informative and while it reads like an essay, I didn’t expect it to be anything else as that was never what was promised. If anything, I believe she made very solid arguments against Bill Gothard’s teachings and successfully integrated her experiences disentangling her faith from fear. I don’t personally agree with the Pastor of the church she is going to, but I didn’t read anything I thought to be false in the book at least. Overall, I think this is an interesting book to read regardless of personal religious beliefs as long as you’re okay with a more academic and faith-based type of book. I just think it’s important to know what the purpose of the book was before going into it so as not to be disappointed. Overall l would rate it 4.8 stars based on all of these factors.

Questions

Tell me what you thought of the book.

Was it what you were expecting/hoping for?

Have you experienced religious trauma?

Why did you read it?

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References

“Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith F...” Goodreads, Goodreads, https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62837289-becoming-free-indeed.

“Bible Gateway Passage: Matthew 23 - New King James Version.” Bible Gateway, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+23&version=NKJV.